"To Be or Not to Be, A Butterfly" by Chuang Tzu
If you haven't read this story yet, now is the perfect time to explore it.
It was all new to me. I had recently read a book on PTSD and trauma, where the author shared his journey of healing through Tai Chi. Inspired by his story, I thought, "Why not give it a try?" When I met the instructor, I wasn't sure what to expect and felt a bit uncertain. But a few weeks in, I realized how much I loved it. From the very beginning, I was hooked—even braving heavy rain just to make it to class dripping wet.
Everything felt warm and inviting in those moments. Then, one evening, I sensed something extraordinary—a butterfly gliding softly through the room. It wasn’t visible, yet it felt undeniably real. I watched in awe and wonder, captivated by its presence. I never said anything but it reminded me of a story I read by Chuang Tzu. To be or not to be a butterfly. I don't think I ever got any further in the book. I read a few others but that one would remain with me.
This evening, I immersed myself in the teachings of Chuang Tzu, and his timeless wisdom touched me in ways I never expected. It awakened something deep within me, bringing back memories of my cherished tai chi days—days filled with clarity, balance, and inspiration. But after the pandemic, everything felt different. The energy in the room seemed to shift; the once gentle, harmonious flow was replaced by something heavier, more fragmented. But does that even matter? What matters is that it brought me to where I am now—a step further, a step closer to growth, and perhaps, a step closer to myself.
It felt as though a guiding presence was watching over me when I felt three gentle taps on my shoulder. I didn’t look back—this was my moment to transform, to break free from the cocoon that had held me captive, and become the butterfly I was always meant to be. Now, I feel liberated, like a butterfly that had been confined for far too long, finally unfurling its wings. Quietly and patiently, I had awaited this moment—the chance to rise, to soar, and to embrace the boundless sky.
Throughout my journey, I’ve experienced many profound moments, including dreams that seemed to guide or warn me. Interestingly, many of these dreams involved water. One particularly strange event stands out: during a class, a student told the instructor, "We need to go back to the basics." This immediately struck a chord with me, as the night before, I had dreamed of a woman in a wheelchair coming onto a stage and saying those exact words. The synchronicity was undeniable.